Moving Forward

Where am I now and how has the MAPP helped me as a teacher.

I feel as though I have learned through the process of the MAPP that my skills as a teacher have developed more layers, textures and depth. I instead of my previous thinking of "this is how it is done" I am continually exploring more questions such as "How else could it be done", "Is this the best way of doing things?", "Is there a best way of doing things?". I now approach my teaching from a step back, I try to both exist in the immediate space, as well as remove some of my thinking from the immediate space and adopt a more objective approach looking to understand what is really happening at the moment vs. what could be happening at the moment.

I am constantly looking for more information or clues and using the found data to further my intuition and understanding of what learning could look like at its finest standard (whatever that might be).

As dancers, we are trained to be perfectionists in our art form, and even perhaps ourselves. I feel as though this trained instinct continues within me as I continue to learn and develop myself as a teacher. Upon successful completion of the MAPP, I have continued to read, re-read, and search for more relevant sources in the fields of narrative inquiry, grounded theory, etc. (qualitative research in general) which will help me to do self-directed research projects with the purpose of keeping myself continually alert to the objectively "naked" possibility of what might be happening, here and now at the moment. These skills I feel are essential to help me develop myself further as a teacher throughout my teaching existence.

I have also discovered for myself the massive amounts of knowledge buried within the examples of other studies within the textbooks contained within the MAPP reading lists, and I continue to find the information very interesting which makes me inclined to continue being engaged with and makes me feel excited by the idea of further learning. Some of the other tools I have adopted from the reading material from the MAPP in order to help with my continued learning are: keeping a constant learning journal in which I try to continue to practice the art of deep reflection, objective analysis of what I feel "sense" within as many areas that define myself as a teacher which I am able to personally identify, Narrative inquiry and seeking help from others learning about the various opinions, views, and perspectives held by them, and using this pieces of information to obtain more of a broader perspective myself into what may be occurring.

Through my experience this last year, I feel as though I have gained further insight for myself into what helps us as beings continue to learn once an individual who has obtained a lifetime of learned experience dies. I think as though this is where the importance of us as beings leaving behind an artifact which has been imbued or embodied with our knowledge, understanding, and experience, is greatly beneficial for future generations of beings to pick up the learning and experience where the individual or group of individuals has left off, which would be demonstrated within the construction of their artifact which they chose to leave for others to continue to learn from. 

I will continue to post on this MAPP blog throughout my development as a teacher, and learner. Hopefully, I will continue to be able to discuss with others through their blogs as well, far beyond the timeframe of the MAPP program of which we were a part of.

Skype meeting March 20, 2019

Skype meeting March 20, 2019

On March 20, 2019, there was a scheduled Skype meeting for the Module 2, and 3 participants of the MAPP program which was centred around the idea of shifting inquiries due to unforeseen circumstances that could have been foreshadowed by the action of filling out the MORE form in Module 2. 

Some of the discussion that arose was around the idea of responses and gender because one of the participants had received much more responses from female participants than from male participants in their study which led to her concluding that female participants are ten times more likely to respond than male participants in this particular case.  There was an ethical issue mentioned as well around this idea, by bringing up another idea of how the information could be different if whatever study had been done had not disclosed the gender of the participants. I felt as though this particular topic of the Skype session ended mostly with more questions, not really any concrete solutions or conclusions, but solutions that I felt as though could be individual and based upon our own perspectives derived from our own inquiries, and previous experience. 

Other issues that arose are the lack of participants responding to questionnaires and surveys, and what this could mean to the inquiries, as well as how the data could be considered to be lost, but discussion and input from the module leaders lead to the idea that there being no responses to the data gathering methods could also be used as data within the inquiry. 

The next topic I believe was that there was also some input from participants in Module 2 about frustrations that they are experiencing within their own development of their inquiry, that could be arising from pre-conceived ideas and concepts of what is and isn’t. One of the things that I feel seem to be stressed throughout the MAPP is that the goal isn’t to find out why or how something happens, but more to find out what is happening -  I remember Adesola mentioning this many times throughout the MAPP.

Talking about shifts in the inquiry and how the data collection may have not have been as productive as initially thought, or not ended up being able to follow the direction of the initial inquiry. I feel as though my inquiry is about the same idea as it was originally, the methods of data collection have to be more heavily based upon the literature instead of the participant's responses to the questionnaires, and that I should probably talk to Adesola about if I need to re-contact the ethics committee if there are any concerns about using my own reflective learning Journals as data within this inquiry. 

I have been observing that the smaller the groups are in the MAPP Skype Discussions that the less rich I am feeling the discussion get, and I have a feeling that it is due to the there being less energy when there are fewer people communicating amongst others. I also noticed that I myself wasn’t really certain much of the time on what angle the various speakers were coming from, so at times when there are awkward silences, I would speak and try to test and see if I was able to understand the concepts that were being spoken about. I find it very interesting that still in module three there is so much working out various forms of communication between one and another even though I feel as though I am finding myself to be more easily understood when I am writing. 

Connectivism, Fear, Control, Leading to Improvisation, Knowledge and Framework

After re-watching both of those short videos, I have revisited my ideas surrounding connectivism. I have learned to pay more attention to what I am watching, and to think about all that I interact with, with more depth. Now watching the videos I am able to appreciate what is being said about connectivism, and also feel as well as though the human mind is separate from our social networks and as though both entities intertwine which in turn develops ourselves, and society mutually. I would like to talk about our fears, and fears of connectivism, the one in control and their role in connectivism and society, the four attributes of connectivism mentioned in the first video, knowledge and learning from the second video, and about framework and improvisation as mentioned by Adesola on her blog.

Fear, I have been taught my whole life to never talk to strangers. I believe many other individuals have been taught the same, therefore social media and web 2.0 may be an example of a couple of the wariest inventions of mankind. I find it interesting that throughout the MAPP the idea of there being fear is repeating itself over and over again as if there is a theme being developed. This idea of fear also resonates with me in my own school along with my own teaching practices.

I found it interesting that today while speaking with one of my senior students I was informed that one of the teachers hasn’t made her classes more difficult in the 4 years that she has been here, and the student that has spoken to about this phenomena has also been in that class for the same duration of the 4 years. Upon hearing this I also interviewed some of the other students who are also in the class and have been in the class for more than 2 years, and they also stated that the class hasn’t increased in difficulty. Could this be an example of fear in the workplace? Fear of negative feedback from the students for having expectations placed upon them? Or is it a fear of being the teacher that is ‘mean’? I don’t know.  

Another interesting phenomenon that occurred last week is that one of the music teachers for the school saw that the school had added ‘Music Theory” classes to the schedule with the goal subsidizing the practical piano lessons the students take as a part of the program, and by the teachers reaction it was clear to me that she didn’t feel as though the students were capable of doing music theory, even if it was at the most novice level. For this incident, I am not sure if the fear is coming from an insecurity in that instructor thinking that perhaps I don’t think that they are competent in their job because I have added the music theory alongside the practical music classes, or that she is fearful of the students own failure taking the newly added music theory classes. Whichever the reason may be, I did notice that the students seemed to be much happier, and confident now that I have added the music theory classes.

Connectivism, next to fear, another point I noticed from the 1st video that I didn’t notice before (because I have become aware of more happenings) is the reference to the flock of birds, and the school of fish. I was thinking about our tasks in Module 1 involving learning how to reflect upon our experiences (Jennifer Moon, 2009) And seeing patterns generated from the Areas of Learning essays by the participants of the MAPP which must have been observed by Adesola, and Helen while sorting through and marking our RPL assignments. I can only imagine the similarities between our individual experiences they must see in all of the participants of the MAPP through the vessel of the RPL  about what we as professionals have learned about communication, or our abilities to run a school, or conduct a dance class. (I have observed that many participants submit essays on very similar topics through discussions with other peers of the MAPP, as well as examining past blogs, and Skype discussions). Is this an example of connectivism in society resulting from similarities in human development leading to sub-conscience methods of completing the same tasks without speaking to one and another about those tasks beforehand?

Control, The next point that the speaker gives about connectivism is the idea of there is an authority in control of the situations, of whose role is to guide the individuals towards the tasks required in order to succeed as a group, either to greatness, or to ‘walking off a cliff’ as the speaker states. I understand that these authorities in the MAPP are represented by Adesola or Helen, and therefore could it be that in each of our own professional activities that the authority is whoever is in charge in any given situation, whether it be ourselves, or an authority to whom we must answer?

Autonomy, Diversity, interactivity, and openness, These next 4 points he makes are also from what I can understand through my experience with the MAPP are also core values of the MAPP program within itself. And upon reflection into my professional practice, and life experience I can identify situations that only ended up being positive because all of these four attributes were present in those instances. After thinking more about these key points where he speaks about the future of connectivism and speaking of it as a theory that may or may not be true or false I think about all of the different systems of government, business, and society that operate in the various spaces within our planet. For example, many governments have removed one or more of the 4 attributes from the societies contained within their boundaries. I don’t have any conclusions, but I do feel as though there is some value in thinking more about the idea of these four attributes of connectivsm in our own social and economic environments that we create or are a part of ourselves, and how we have the ability to create conducive or destructive environments when it comes to connectivism within our own social and economic spaces.  

Knowledge, and Learning,  In the second video the speaker talks about connectivism as a form of knowledge generation through the interaction with individuals, there is a much more in-depth discussion of this in the book Researching Dance evolving modes of inquiry (Sandra Horton, and Penelope Hanstein, 1999) when talking about dance, communication, and embodiment. I now find it interesting how that, on one hand, I feel as though I wish that I understood connectivism as I do now, at the beginning of the MAPP, and on the other hand I feel as though then there wouldn’t be much point to the MAPP because through its interactive using of connectivism using social media, and Web 2.0. I find that I am now understanding concepts that I would normally use in everyday life, but with a much more in-depth understanding of what I am actually doing while interacting through connectivism using modern social technologies. When Adesola first posted on her blog about these ideas, I didn’t really understand then what she was really writing about. I have enjoyed the experience of reflecting upon these ideas now (many months later) and to understand and gain a sort of insight into how far we have come throughout the MAPP.   

Framework and improvisation, Is improvisation a lack of framework, or a demonstration of previously embodied understandings of what you have experienced prior to demonstration subconsciously? I like what Adesola says about the framework being the in moment. For me (in my continuing development of understanding) it is similar to knowledge, it is constantly growing and developing and therefore impossible (within my current understanding) to adhere to during improvisation unless the improvisation must be performed within specific parameters equating to a framework, and codification.   

Conclusion, When Adesola writes about witnessing the framework, could it also translate into learning through connectivism? I feel as though the framework is as fluid and individual as each of our varying perspectives on everything. I feel as though it is through connectivism that we generate knowledge as a direct result of varying perspectives working together to find themes and ideas that logically, and/or scientifically become accepted as truth. I have come to the belief that we must overcome our fears of communication and being potentially offended by offering our own perspectives unto others in order to successfully engage in the process of learning with the outcome of gaining knowledge.

References

Horton, S., & Hanstein, P. (1999). Researching dance evolving modes of inquiry. University of Pittsburgh.

Moon, J. A. (2009). A handbook of reflective and experiential learning: Theory and practice. RoutledgeFalmer.

Crohn’s Disease, Fluff, Knowing, Learning, Perception, Communication

Crohn’s Disease, if someone hasn’t been told there is something ‘different’ about them, are they going to be aware that there is something different? How is someone supposed to realize that they don’t do something as someone else would do? Is it the public’s obligation, or the individual's obligation to make changes to the individual that is different? What happens when someone is diagnosed with a non-obvious difference and is placed within a classroom setting with others that may be oblivious to his or her difference? What is the responsibility of the teacher and what is the responsibility of the student in the many possible outcomes of a learning environment created with these parameters? I feel as though there could be many interesting studies done within this area of learning that could help to further the understanding and learning experiences of everyone involved in the various scenarios that could be created through these created environments.

Fluff, What is fluff? When writing what would be considered to be fluff? For myself in my experience when I reflect back upon it my first thoughts when engaging with the academic (university) community where probably very similar with many questions such as ‘why are people speaking like this?’ and ‘why does everyone have this overly thoughtful attitude towards everything?’ could it be that this might be a reflection of the culture surrounding academic systems? When I first started reading different books from the recommended reading list, I was thinking about how many experts must be similar to the stereotypes of hippies in the bushes. After learning more from reading these authors, the student handbooks and starting to work on my own projects now, I have learned through the application of what I learned from the literature, and experimentation within my own professional practice that I needed to adapt my perspective when it comes to reading.

Another approach that I can think of now looking into ethnography, and ideas that form qualitative research methodologies, my thinking has changed now to ‘Fluff? Could that just be a simplified form of recorded communication that a qualitative researcher would be able to enthusiastically collect and analyze? How people choose to write or communicate can be a very strong indicator of themselves, their perspectives, experiences, and character, or even more. I have read that the word ‘hand-writing’ can often be interchanged with the word ‘eyes’ in the old saying that ‘the eyes are a window to the soul’ leading to ‘handwriting is a window to the soul’, I could take this another step further and suggest that ‘fluff is a window to the soul’. I have learned through A. Holliday, Judith Bell, Stephen Waters, Sondra Horton Fraleigh, and Penelope Hanstein that when it comes to the act of engaging in qualitative research practices, the process of creating data gets a lot deeper than just the appearance of the writing, or what it means on the surface. Based upon my own interpretation after reading about qualitative research I feel as though the important data lies within the feelings and perception of the researcher of the content of the writing, the perceived written context, perceived intended meaning, these three points are only scratching the surface of how in-depth and ‘fluffy’ qualitative research may become. Which takes me to my next point ‘perception’.

One of the biggest things I am learning about during my experiences participating in the MAPP involve perception. Now in module 3, after reading 37 books since the beginning of the MAPP I feel that only once one can adapt their perception can they start to learn through the experiences of others. This ability to change one's perspective combined with the ability to approach a subject or situation with an objective stance is central to any learning and or researching activity.

Communication, Do we know how to communicate? I would like to think so. If art isn’t a form of communication then what is it? Could expression be equal to communication, these words work very well if you frequently interchange them and people like to often state that art is a form of expression. Through my own teaching and adjudicating experiences, there have been many instances when I have asked students the questions “Why do you dance? Or Why do we dance?” and usually there is at least one student who answers “To express ourselves” or another paraphrased version of the same response. Perhaps another potential method of gathering ideas surrounding what communication is, is to look for ideas surrounding the idea of what it is to express oneself or to express something. Another point we covered within the subject of communication is our desire to adopt the form of communication. There seemed to be some apprehensiveness surrounding the idea of changing our perceived view of ourselves when we communicate. Which brings to have more questions such as ‘do we need to change?’ or ‘should we change?’ These ideas connect today’s skype discussion with my own enquire which revolves around the idea that “information is passed from generation to generation, which pieces of information get to be passed on, and which ones don’t, and why, and what are the results?”. Could these questions of ‘should we change?’, or ‘do we need to change?’ be central to what I am looking to learn more about within my own inquiry?

Another area of communication that we covered in today’s skype discussion was: how do we communicate our very abstract ideas within ourselves, to our students? I like this question because it made me think about how we choose what form of language to use when communicating with our students, and does our ‘teaching voice’ that we use in the classroom differ to that of our ‘student voice’ we employ when engaging with the MAPP. Our ‘artistic voice’ and our ‘academic voice’ There is a little discussion of this on Adesola’s blog where she writes “In the afternoon we talked about objectivity, artistic v academic, learning through dancing. This conversation included talking about the low value dance has in some peoples hierarchy of learning.” Again this question leads me to think more about perspective, in particular, academic versus artistic two separate yet intertwined communities and cultures and how, why, and if society really does separate them into two separate categories, or cultures/communities/social classes.

 References:

Adesola, Adesola, Adesola, Adesola, Adesola, & Adesola. (1970, January 01). Adesola MA Professional Practice. Retrieved from http://adesolamapp.blogspot.com/search?q=artistic

Bell, J., & Waters, S. (2018). Doing your research project: A guide for first-time researchers. McGraw Hill Education.

Holliday, A. (2016). Doing et writing qualitative research. SAGE.

Horton, S., & Hanstein, P. (1999). Researching dance evolving modes of inquiry. University of Pittsburgh.

Algorithms, bias, ethics and me.

Watching the Ted talks that were recommended to us by Adesola on her blog. These videos actually made me think more about the presenter's voices and presentation than the content itself (at least immediately following observing). I watched each of the videos in their entirety only due to the idea that I thought it would be a good idea as I feel the videos are being recommended due to being posted on Adesola's blog. This leads me to think more in depth about my personal bias towards people. Normally I would just turn a video like these ones off and not bother to watch them, mainly because I have a hard time listening to the tone and pitch and vocal fry they have both incorporated into their voice and speech. I have realized that many times when there is something irritating to one individual about certain people and the way they present themselves it can be difficult for the listener to self-motivate to fully listen to what presenter is saying, let alone try to understand it. When the speaker is not being well received by the listener there could be large amounts of learning opportunities lost. This thought is in conjunction with the ideas that the two speakers are talking about when they are speaking of an algorithm and the unforeseen biased associated with them. I would never have dreamed that a computer using facial recognition software wouldn’t necessarily be able to recognize my face from someone else's face, or even if it would be recognizable at all. Thinking about ethical some of the considerations that could be associated with the idea of biased computer software, I might be able to compare myself to one of the developers of the biased facial recognition software without knowing that I am being biased (are people biased without knowing that they are biased until someone points it out to then?) When someone created something such as the people creating the biased facial recognition computer software, could it be that they are only aware of an idea that focuses on developing the facial recognition software to be able to recognize the faces of people that the developer knows personally, or has been acquainted with within his or her life?, and could I be an equivalent to the software developer when it comes to dance? This leads to me thinking about my place in dance and my individual views derived from my personal experience with dance. How would my position be viewed by another individual involved with dance of who has shared no experience that I would have? For example, in the MAPP there are dance professionals from other parts of the world who specialize in other forms of dance. How could one possibly consider that others would even be able to relate to anything I do? And why would they care? These are questions that I need to think more about throughout the MAPP and my teaching profession and to see how I may be able to move forward through thinking in order to achieve a deeper understanding of what we do.

Early February Thoughts

The beginning of the new term has been very stressful for me. I have found that the difficulty of my inquiry is going to haunt me until everything is done - if everything gets done. The MAPP has been a very large learning curve for me to handle due to my teaching 8-10 hours daily from Monday to Saturday and having three children that need constant attention because they are children. I am glad however though that the beginning of this module began with some very good feedback from Adesola, about my module 2 inquiry which included some very good insight into the importance of how I need to state more clearly my methodology and theoretical framework. Along with more insight into possible ethical concerns and the fact that I should have included a literature review in my inquiry but didn’t fully understand what I was doing. Mistakes like these led me to reflect more upon a particular skype session for the MAPP at the end of last year about communication. I think that probably the largest aspects of the MAPP have been about learning how to communicate, overcoming fear, and discovering oneself as a professional. I began in module one, experiencing great difficulty in explaining myself, my ideas, and lines of thought. I still have a fear of explaining myself because I don’t feel as though I will ever do it properly due to my own personal conditions (this is something I will have to deal with somehow). When I started in module 1, one of the first skype meetings ended up being focused around fear, and what fear means to us. I have had a long time (a year almost now) to think about fear and reflect upon that idea of what it means to me. I have experienced now, that fear will adapt due to learning more and understanding more. I have read now several journal articles focusing on the change of fear(I could read more articles, because most of these focused on rats, and exterminating fear as derived from memory). Regardless, I have learned through my own experiences that one of the more important factors in overcoming certain fears are learning more about yourself, through the acts of learning other subjects, and the various approaches to learning them. By doing these things one will end up discovering more about oneself through the process of learning due to the interaction of various artifacts and literature required to learn the required subject, leading to the acquisition of enough premises to understand that ‘you do have a voice of your own, and you are allowed to use it.’ I have found that during the MAPP, the most difficult element is finding my own voice, and learning how, and if I am ‘allowed’(of whos permission to use it, I am uncertain still) to use it. As a classical dancer, you are specifically taught to not use your own voice and only taught to do what you are told. This teaching, I find leads to a very lowered level of self-confidence in myself, and also as I observe the students I teach, which means that there is almost a certainty that I am also guilty of the same cycle-forming system of training. Which leads to me look for a way to change.

New Beginnings

Beginnings mean many different things to me. I would consider a better word for beginnings as firsts. The reason I would do this because every time I think of a new beginning, even if it is an activity that one may have done many times before, they will probably do something a little differently. I am not going to list all of the firsts that I have experienced because there are far too many, and some of them are novels within themselves. I hold all of my beginnings as points where learning begins because every beginning from my own personal experience has lead to a change within myself. And I am looking forward to all of the changes, therefore, beginnings to come.